Following gospel priorities will help parents — who have more things expected of them than they can possibly do — make the best choices on how to spend their time.
"We should begin by recognizing the reality that just because something is good is not a sufficient reason for doing it," said Elder Dallin H. Oaks of the Quorum of the Twelve in the concluding session of conference Oct. 7. "Some things are better than good, and these are the things that should command priority attention in our lives."
Illustrating that theme with a childhood experience with an old mail order catalog that listed items in "Good, Better, and Best" categories, he noted that some more costly choices are worth the extra expense.
"Consider how we use our time in the choices we make in viewing television, playing video games, surfing the Internet or reading books and magazines.... Not everything of that sort is worth the portion of our life we give to obtain it."
He cited the Lord's direction to "Seek ye out of the best books words of wisdom" (Doctrine and Covenants 88:118).
While there is no easy formula for the contest of priorities between occupation and family, he observed, "I have never known of a man who looked back on his working life and said, 'I just didn't spend enough time with my job."'
Concerning family activities, he said: "The amount of children and parent time absorbed in good activities of private lessons, team sports and other school and club activities needs to be carefully regulated. Otherwise, children will be over scheduled and parents will be frazzled and frustrated.
"Parents need to act to preserve family prayer, family scripture study, family home evening and the other precious togetherness and individual one-on-one time that binds a family together and fixes children's values on things of eternal worth."
Disturbing trends of today see a child's family and free time greatly diminished. Time a family spends eating meals together, for example, has declined by 33 percent. Yet this activity is the strongest predictor of children's academic achievement, psychological adjustment, and is a bulwark against children smoking, drinking and using drugs.
The First Presidency has called on parents to devote "their best efforts" to teaching and rearing their children in gospel principles. "We all know that the home is the basis of a righteous life, and no other instrumentality can take its place in this God-given responsibility."
Elder Oaks cautioned Church leaders against planning too complex and burdensome meetings and activities. "Priorities are needed there, too." He asked that stake presidencies and bishoprics weed out excessive and ineffective busyness, so as not to infringe on time families need for their "divinely appointed duties."
However, he said, if Church activities are reduced, parents should act vigorously to increase family togetherness and one-on-one time. He said some youth skip Church meetings for sports or video or Internet activities. "Many young people are amusing themselves to death — spiritual death."
"We have to forego some good things in order to choose others that are better or best because they develop faith in the Lord Jesus Christ and strengthen our families," said Elder Oaks.
Examples of this include home teachers who do not just make a visit, but who change lives. And teachers this year of the new Priesthood and Relief Society manual should "select and quote from the words of the Prophet (Joseph Smith) in principles specially suited to the needs of class members, and then direct a discussion on how to apply those principles in the circumstances of their lives."
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